Islam and Women – For Infidels

Tag – Islam and Women

When people in the media talk about Islam, then like to talk about how Islam is “pro-woman”. Then, people on the Left believe them unquestioningly. They proceed to say that Islam is a feminist religion.

Feminism is an Islamic heresy. The only people who believe that Islam is feminist are (a) Leftists who aren’t Muslims and (b) Western Muslim heretics. All those Muslim heretics had better hope that Allah isn’t real. If Islam is the true religion, then they are surely destined for the fire!

Of course, calling feminism an Islamic heresy doesn’t make it a heresy. It’s a heresy because it contradicts many Quranic verses and authentic hadith.

Now, some time ago I thought it would be interesting to read through the Summarized Sahih Bukhari to find the hadith which contradict feminism, and I found a few dozen of them.

I recorded these hadith, and I wrote sexist jokes to convey their messages. I figured that reading the hadith is kind of boring, so adding some jokes to them would make them more interesting.

Here’s my livened-up version of the sexist hadith. Hopefully you will believe that Islam is not a feminist religion after reading them.

These hadith all come from the Summarized Sahih Bukhari. Muslims are required to believe them. Muslims who reject these hadith are heretics.

The Sahih Sexist

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. It does, however, have lots of women.

1. Narrated Ibn Abbas: The Prophet said:” I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers were women who were disbelievers or ungrateful.” It was asked, “Do they disbelieve in Allah (or are they ungrateful to Allah)?” He replied: “They are ungrateful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favours and the good (charitable deeds) done to them. If you have always been good (benevolent) to one of them for a period of time and then she sees something in you (not of her liking), she will say, ‘I have never seen any good from you.’ “

Tag – Islam and Women

50-to-1 odds. I like my chances.

2. Narrated (Anas): I will narrate to you a Hadith which none will narrate to you after me. I heard Allah’s Messenger saying: “From among the portents of the Hour are (the following): (religious) knowledge will decrease (by the death of religious learned men); (religious) ignorance will prevail; there will be prevalence of open illegal sexual intercourse; women will increase in number, and men will decrease in number so much so that fifty women will be looked after by one man.” 

Tag – Islam and Women

If you enslave a woman and then marry her, then you get an extra-nice spot in heaven.

3. Narrated Abu Musa: Allah’s Messenger said “Three persons will have a double reward: a person from the people of the Scriptures (a Jew or a Christian) who believed in his Prophet and then believed in the Prophet Muhammad,  a slave who fulfills his duties to Allah and also to his master, and the master of a woman-slave who teaches her good manners and educates her in the best possible way (the religion) and manumits her and then marries her.”

If a woman has three kids who die while on jihad, then she won’t burn in Hell. Hmm…

4. Narrated Abu Said Al-Khudri: Some women requested the Prophet to fix a day for them as the men were taking all his time. On that he promised them one day for religious lessons and commandments. Once during such a lesson the Prophet said, “A woman whose three children die will be shielded by them from the Hell-fire.” On that a woman asked, “If only two die?” He replied, “Even two.”

It was easy for Umar to recognize her because she was so fat.

5. Narrated Aisha: The wives of the Prophet used to go to Al-Manasi, a vast open place (near Baqi at Al-Medina) to answer the call of nature at night. Umar used to say to the Prophet, “Let your wives be veiled,” but Allah’s Messenger did not do so. One night Sauda bint Zama the wife of the Prophet went out at Isha time and she was a large lady. Umar addressed her and said, “I have recognized you, O Sauda.” He said so, as he desired eagerly that the Verses of Al-Hijab (the observing of veils by the Muslim women) may be revealed. So Allah revealed the Verses of Al-Hijab (a complete body cover excluding the eyes).

Tag – Islam and Women

Thanks, Muhammad.

6. Narrated Ibn Umar: “During the lifetime of Allah’s Messenger, men and women used to perform ablution together.”

Muhammad: “What is wrong with women? What isn’t wrong with them!”

7. Narrated Abu Said Al-Khudri: Once Allah’s Messenger went out to the Musalla [to offer the salat] of Eid-al-Adha or Al-Fifr prayer. Then he passed by the women and said, ‘O women! Give alms, as I have seen that the majority of the dwellers of Hell-fire were you (women).” They asked, “Why is it so, O Allah’s Messenger?” He replied, “You curse frequently and are ungrateful to your husbands. I have not seen anyone more deficient in intelligence and religion than you. A cautious sensible man could be led astray by some of you.”

The women asked, ‘O Allah’s Messenger! What is deficient in our intelligence and religion?” He said, “Is not the witness (evidence) of two women equal to the witness of one man?” They replied in the affirmative. He said, “This is the deficiency in your intelligence. Isn’t it true that a woman can neither pray nor fast during her menses?” The women replied in the affirmative. He said, “This is the deficiency in your religion.” 

Tag – Islam and Women

Muhammad: “So your son died last week…Get over it, already!”

8. Narrated Umm Atiya: We were forbidden to mourn for a dead person for more than three days, except in case of a husband for whom mourning was allowed for four months and ten days. During that time, we were not allowed to put powder in our eyes or to use perfumes or to put on coloured clothes except a dress made of Yemenite cloth. We were allowed to use light perfume at the time of taking a bath after menses, and also we were forbidden to go with the funeral procession. 

Muhammad: “Do you ever feel…not so fresh, you know, down there? That’s because of the deficiency in your religion. You’d better not pray until you’re clean.”

9. Narrated Muadha: A woman asked Aisha, “Should I offer the salat (prayers) that which I did not offer because of menses.” Aisha said, “Are you from the Haraura (a town in Iraq)? We were with the Prophet and used to get our periods but he never ordered us to offer them [the SaIat missed during menses],” or Aisha said, “We did not offer them.” 

Muhammad: “Get those bloody women away from the bloody mosque!”

10. Narrated Umm Atiya: I heard Allah’s Messenger that the unmarried virgins and the mature girls and the menstruating women should come out and participate in the good deeds as well as invocations of faithful believers but the menstruating women should keep away from the Musalla (place of prayer). Someone asked , “Do you say the menstruating women?” She replied, “Doesn’t a menstruating woman attend Arafat (Hajj) and such and such (other deeds)?” 

Tag – Islam and Women

Womanhood: “I hate you, Umar.”
Umar: “I hate you too.”

11. Narrated Umar bin Al-Khattab: My Lord agreed with me in three things: I said, ‘O Allah’s Messenger, I wish we took the place of Abraham as our praying place. So came the Divine Inspiration: And take you (people) the Maqam (place) of Abraham as a place of prayer; and as regards the (Verse of) the veiling of the women, I said, “O Allah’s Messenger! I wish you ordered your wives to cover themselves from the men because good and bad ones talk to them.”

So the Verse of the veiling of the women was revealed; once the wives of the Prophet made a united front against the Prophet, and I said to them, “It may be if he divorced you, that his Lord will give him instead of you wives better than you.” So this Verse the same as I had said was revealed. 

Tag – Islam and Women

Aisha: “Do you think that women are like dogs?”

Muhammad: “Eww, get off the bed!”

12. Narrated Aisha: Do you make us (women) equal to dogs and donkeys? While I used to lie in my bed, the Prophet would come and offer SaIat facing the middle of the bed. I used to consider it not good to be in front of him in his Salat. So I used to slip away slowly and quietly from the foot of the bed till I got out of my blanket. 

What if they’re menstruating?

13. Narrated Ibn Umar: The Prophet said, “If your women ask permission to go to the mosque at night, allow them.” 

I wonder how often Muhammad’s wives said that to him.

14. Ibn Abbas narrated the hadith of eclipse in detail: He mentioned that the people said, ‘O Allah’s Messenger! We saw you taking something from your place, and then we saw you retreating.” The Prophet replied. “I saw Paradise and stretched my hands towards a bunch of its fruits, when you saw me taking something and had I taken it, you would have eaten from it as long as the world remains. Then I saw the Hell-fire and I had never seen such a horrible sight when you saw me retreating. I saw that most of its inhabitants were women.”

The people asked, ‘O Allah’s Messenger! Why is it so?” The Prophet replied, “Because of their ungratefulness.” It was asked whether they are ungrateful to Allah. The Prophet said, “They are ungrateful to their companions of life (husbands) and ungrateful to good favours done to them. If you have done good favours to one of them throughout the life and if she notices anything (undesirable) from you, she will say, ‘I have never seen any good from you.”

 Tag – Islam and Women

Man: “Pardon me sir, does this belong to you?”

Muslim Man: “Fatima, there you are! Did you try running away again?”

15. Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, “It is not permissible for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to travel for one day and night except with a Mahram.” 

Islamic Judge: “I find you guilty.”

Woman: “Of what?”

Islamic Judge: “Crying too much. Take her to the dungeons!”

16. Narrated Umm Habiba a wife of the Prophet: “I heard the Prophet saying: It is not legal for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn for more than three days for any dead person, except her husband, for whom she should mourn for four months and ten days.” 

Apparently, “Don’t cry too much” was too high of a standard.

17. Narrated Umm Atiyya: At the time of giving the (Baia) pledge to the Prophet, one of the conditions was that we would not wail, but it was not fulfilled except by five women and they were Umm Sulaim, Umm Al-Ala, the daughter of Abi Sabra, the wife of Muadh, and two other women; or the daughter of AbI Sabra and the wife of Muadh and another woman.

Muhammad: “Whoever puts up with these broads will get to use them as shields against the hellfire.”

18. Narrated Aisha: A lady along with her two daughters came to me asking (for some alms), but she found nothing on me except one date which I gave to her and she divided it between her two daughters, and did not eat anything herself, and then she got up and went away. Then the Prophet came and I informed him about this story. He said, “Whoever is put to trial by these daughters and he treats them generously (with benevolence), then these daughters will act as a shield for him from Hell-fire.” 

Tag – Islam and Women

The Horror!

18. Narrated Abu Musa: The Prophet said, “A time will come upon the people when a person will wander about with gold as Zakat not find anybody to accept it, and one man will be seen followed by forty women to be their guardian because of the scarcity of men and great number of women.”

No women may go on jihad. Members only.

19. Narrated Aisha, the mother of the faithful believers: I said, ‘O Allah’s Messenger! We consider Jihad as the best deed. Should we not participate in Jihad?” The Prophet said, “No! The best Jihad (for women) is Hajj-Mabrur.” 

In Sharia Law, if a woman is raped, then she is supposed to be stoned to death for having committed the crime of getting raped. It’s illegal to rape, and it’s illegal to be raped.

20. Narrated Abu Huraira and Zaid bin Khalid Al-Juhani: A bedouin came to Allah’s Messenger and said, ‘O Allah’s Messenger! I ask you by Allah to judge my case according to Allah’s Laws.’ His opponent, who was more learned than he, said, “Yes, judge between us according to Allah’s Laws and allow me to speak.” Allah’s Messenger said, “Speak”.

He said, “My son was working as a labourer for him, and he committed illegal sexual intercourse with his wife. The people told me that it was obligatory that my son should be stoned to death, so in lieu of that I ransomed my son by paying one hundred sheep and a slave. Then I asked the religious scholars about it, and they informed me that my son must be lashed one hundred lashes and be exiled for one year, and his wife must be stoned to death.”

Allah’s Messenger said, “By Him in Whose Hands my soul is, I will judge between you according to Allah’s Laws. The slave and the sheep are to be returned to you, your son is to receive a hundred lashes and be exiled for one year. O Unais, go to the wife, and if she confesses her guilt, then stone her to death.” Unais went to that women next morning and she confessed. Allah’s Messenger ordered that she be stoned to death.

Tag – Islam and Women

Husband: “You have to have sex with me. The angels will curse you if you don’t.”

21. Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah’s Messenger said, “If a husband calls his wife to his bed to have sex and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, then the angels will curse her till morning.” 

Hey! Here it is again!

22. Narrated Imran bin Husain: The Prophet said, “I looked at Paradise and found poor people forming the majority of its inhabitants; and I looked at Hell and saw that the majority of its inhabitants were women.”

Woman: “It’s not my fault!”

Muhammad: “You’re right. It’s Eve’s.”

23. Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, “But for the Israelis, meat would not decay and but for Eve, wives would never betray their husbands.”

Wow. Allah really liked Umar. So did Muhammad. I guess Umar was just a really great guy.

24. Narrated Anas: Umar said, “I agreed with Allah in three things,” or said; “My Lord agreed with me in three things”. I said, ‘O Allah’s Messenger! Would that you took the place of Abraham as a place of Salat.” I also said, ‘O Allah’s Messenger! Good and bad persons visit you! Would that you ordered the mothers of the believers to cover themselves with veils.” So the Divine Verses of Al-Hijab (veiling of the women) were revealed. I came to know that the Prophet had blamed some of his wives so I entered upon them and said, “You should either stop (troubling the Prophet, or else Allah will give His Messenger better wives than you.”

When I came to one of his wives, she said to me, ‘O Umar! Does Allah’s Messenger prefer that you, rather than he, advise his wives?” Thereupon Allah revealed: “It may be, if he divorced you (all) that his Lord will give him instead of you, wives better than you, Muslims (who submit to Allah)…….. 

Tag – Islam and Women

Don’t marry your adopted daughter. Unless you steal her money and pay her with it.

25. Narrated Aisha: She was asked by Urwa regarding the Statement of Allah: “And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls ….. ” She said, ‘O son of my sister! An orphan girl used to be under the care of a guardian with whom she shared property. Her guardian, being attracted by her wealth and beauty, would intend to marry her without giving her a just Mahr.

So such guardians were forbidden to do that unless they did justice to their female wards and gave them the highest Mahr their peers might get. They were ordered by Allah to marry women of their choice other than those orphan girls.” Aisha added, “The people asked Allah’s Messenger’s instructions after the revelation of this Divine Verse whereupon Allah revealed: They ask your legal instruction concerning women.” Aisha further said, “And the Statement of Allah: ‘And yet whom you desire to marry as anyone of you refrains from marrying an orphan girl (under his guardianship) when she is lacking in property and beauty.’”

Aisha added “So they were forbidden to marry those orphan girls for whose wealth and beauty they had a desire unless with justice, and that was because they would refrain from marrying them if they were lacking in property and beauty.”

Tag – Islam and Women

Abdullah: “Yo, Muhammad. Is it cool if I cut my balls off? No? Just checkin’.”

26. Narrated Abdullah: We used to participate in the holy wars carried on by the Prophet, and we had no women (wives) with us. So we said to the Prophet, “Shall we castrate ourselves?”. But the Prophet forbade us to do that and thenceforth he allowed us to marry a woman (temporarily) by giving her even a garment, and then he recited: ‘O you who believe! Make not unlawful the Tayyibat (all that is good as regards food, things, deeds, beliefs, persons, etc.) which Allah has made lawful to you.’

Muhammad: “Wait!….Allah has told me….Yes?…Yes! You ARE allowed to poop in the field!”

27. Narrated Aisha: Sauda (the wife of the Prophet) went out to answer the call of nature after it was made obligatory (for all the Muslim ladies) to observe the veil. She was a fat huge lady, and everybody who knew her before could recognize her.

So Umar bin Al-Khattab saw her and said, ‘O Sauda! By Allah, you cannot hide yourself from us, so think of a way by which you should not be recognized on going out. Sauda returned while Allah’s Messenger was in my house taking his supper and a bone covered with meat was in his hand. She entered and said, ‘O Allah’s Messenger! I went out to answer the call of nature and Umar said to me so-and-so.” Then Allah inspired the Prophet, and when the state of inspiration was over and the bone was still in his hand as he had not put it down, he said, “You (women) have been allowed to go out for your needs.”

Tag – Islam and Women

Muhammad: “Don’t beat your wife and then have sex with her on the same night. That would just be really awkward.”

28. Narrated Abdullah bin Zama: He heard the Prophet delivering a Khutba (religious talk), and he mentioned the she-camel and the one who killed it. Allah’s Messenger recited: “When the most wicked man among them went forth (to kill the she-camel).” Then he said,” A tough man whose equal was rare and who enjoyed the protection of his people, like Abi Zamaa, went forth to (kill) it.” The Prophet then mentioned about women and said, “It is not wise for anyone of you to lash his wife like a slave, for he might sleep with her the same evening.” Then he advised them not to laugh when somebody breaks wind, and said,” Why should anybody laugh at what he himself does?” In another quotation it is mentioned: “Like Abi Zama the uncle of Az-Zubair bin Al-Awwam.” 

Tag – Islam and Women

Muhammad: “If you don’t marry a Muslim, then you’re a loser.”

29. Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, “A woman is married for four (things): her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should take possession of (marry) the religious woman, or you will be a loser.” 

Muhammad: “I have been sent as a prophet for all mankind.  MAN-kind.”

30. Narrated Usarna bin Zaid: The Prophet said, “After me I have not left any Fitnah (trial and affliction etc.) more harmful to men than women.”

Muhammad: “Don’t swap your daughters for sex. What is wrong with you!? Marry a child instead.”

31. Narrated Ibn Umar Allah’s Messenger forbade Ash-Shighar (which means that somebody marries his daughter to somebody else, and the latter marries his daughter to the former without paying Mahr.)

The reason why women spend so much time not standing.

32. Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah’s Messenger said, “Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should not harm his neighbour. I also command you to take care of the women, for they are created from a rib and the most crooked portion of the rib is its upper part; if you try to straighten it, you will break it and if you leave it it will remain crooked, so I command you to take care of the women.”

Tag – Islam and Women

A good Muslim woman cannot be blamed for any wrongdoing. Because all of her decisions are made by her husband.

33. Narrated Abu Huraira: The Prophet said, “A woman should not observe Saum (fast) (optional ones) except with her husband’s permission if he is at home (staying with her).” And a woman should not allow anyone to enter her husband’s house except with his consent. And whatever she spends of his wealth as charitable gifts in Allah’s Cause without being ordered by him, he will get half of the reward”. 

This hadith pops up a lot. That’s how Muslims know it’s true.

34. Narrated Usama: The Prophet said, “I stood at the gate of Paradise and saw that the majority of the people who entered it were the poor, while the wealthy were stopped at the gate . But the people destined for the Fire were ordered to be taken to the Fire. Then I stood at the gate of the Fire and saw that the majority of those who entered it were women.”

Tag – Islam and Women

Muhammad: “Allah protects me from all things.”

Questioner: “Even your in-laws?”

Muhammad: “…Kill him.”

35. Narrated Uqba bin Aamir: Allah’s Messenger said, “Beware of entering upon the ladies.” A man from the Ansar said, ‘O Allah’s Messenger! What about Al-Hamu (the in-laws of the wife)?” The Prophet replied: The in-laws of the wife are death itself.

I wonder what the context around this hadith was.

36. Narrated Abdullah bin Masud: The Prophet said, “A woman should not look at or touch another woman to describe her to her husband in such a way as if he was actually looking at her.” 

Muhammad: “Do not go home at night until your wife shaves her pubes. That is my legal way.”

37. Narrated Jabir bin Abdullah: The Prophet said, “If you enter (your town) at night (after coming from a journey), do not enter upon your family till the woman whose husband was absent (from the house) shaves her pubic hair and the woman with unkempt hair, combs her hair.” 

How to Divorce Your Wife in Ten Days

38. Narrated Abdullah bin Umar: He had divorced his wife while she was menstruating during the lifetime of Allah’s Messenger. Umar bin Al-Khattab asked Allah’s Messenger about that. Allah’s Messenger said, “Order him (your son) to take her back, to keep her till she is clean from her menses, and then to wait till she gets her next period and becomes clean again. He can divorce her then if he wants, and it does not matter if he has intercourse with her beforehand. That is the prescribed period which Allah has fixed for the women meant to be divorced.”

Tag – Islam and Women

Can I get a new one? This one’s leaking.

39. Narrated Ibn Umar: Divorcing my wife during her menses was counted as one legal divorce.

Princess: “Merciful Allah, save me from this man!”

Muhammad: “I’ve got some bad news for you.”

40. Narrated Abu Usaid: He said, “She was brought along with her wet nurse (as a bride for the Prophet).

When the Prophet entered upon her, he said to her, “Give me yourself (in marriage) as a gift.”

She said, “Can a princess give herself in marriage to an ordinary man?” The Prophet raised his hand to pat her so that she might become tranquil.

She said, “I seek refuge with Allah from you.”

He said, “You have sought refuge with One Who gives refuge.”

Then the Prophet came out to us and said, ‘O Abu Usaid! Give her two white linen dresses to wear and let her go back to her family (i.e. she is divorced).”

Tag – Islam and Women

Muslim 1: “How did you become a lawyer?”

Muslim 2: “I learned how to add fractions.”

41. Narrated Abu Musa: He was asked regarding (the inheritance of) a daughter, a son’s daughter, and a sister. He said, “The daughter will take one-half and the sister will take one-half. If you go to Ibn Masud, he will tell you the same.” Ibn Masud was asked and told of Abu Musa’s verdict. Ibn Masud then said, “If I give the same verdict, I would stray and would not be of the rightly-guided. The verdict I will give in this case, will be the same as the Prophet did, i.e., one-half is for daughter, and one-sixth for the son’s daughter. Both shares make two thirds of the total property; and the rest is for the sister.” Afterwards we came to Abu Musa and informed him of Ibn Masud’s verdict, whereupon he said, “So, do not ask me for verdicts, as long as this learned man is among you.” 

End of Book of Sexism

Tag – Islam and Women

Gene Botkin

Gene is the director of the Theosis Christian Project. He studied physics and military science before founding the Project. Gene is currently pursuing his doctorate in systems engineering at an engineering college in the Ozarks. The Theosis Christian Project is his attempt to expand Holy Orthodoxy in America.

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