The speech at a funeral is intended to eulogize the deceased and provide the attendance with an idea of who the deceased was. The funeral speech should be around 5-10 minutes. It starts with welcoming the guests and introducing the person giving the eulogy, then it briefly describes who the deceased was and the nature of their illness, and ends with a few words about the dead’s life philosophy.
A funeral speech is constructed from certain parts, it follows a formula, and a person can write one by drafting a speech outline and filling it in with relevant information about the deceased. A speech should be heartfelt, avoid hostility, and be easy to listen to.
The person delivering this speech should be someone who had a positive relationship with the deceased. While a family member would be an obvious choice, it is essential to remember that not all immediate relatives have been close to the deceased during their lifetime. In some cases, the chosen speaker might not be an immediate family member but had known the deceased for many years.
The one giving this speech shouldn’t hesitate to tell stories about the deceased and intersperse them with quotes from books or personal letters so people get a sense of how they would have wanted to be remembered after death. Since the funeral speech is meant to celebrate the deceased’s life, it should be positive. It may include humorous or embarrassing anecdotes to the deceased but is meant to be taken lightheartedly.
What do you say in a funeral speech?
A funeral speech can be among the most difficult speeches to prepare since so much emotion is involved. Some of the ways you might start your eulogy include telling what it was like to receive word that your loved one had died, picturing their funeral, and talking about how the family deals with their grief.
It’s generally a good idea to lead into your speech with something about the deceased that is upbeat. If you are uncomfortable speaking, try talking about what people can do to remember your loved one. What would they want people to say about them after death? If it’s appropriate, you could mention some of the things that happened at their service or memorial, but don’t go into too much detail. Stay positive.
Like all speeches, funeral ones should be short and to the point. You may want to ask yourself this question: What story or memory do I want people to take away? Here are some things not to focus on in your speech:
- What you’re feeling (unless it’s minor)
- What you’re wearing (it’s not the time to talk about how uncomfortable your suit is)
- Where everyone else is sitting (no one cares that Uncle Charlie had to sit in the back because Grandma took the best seat)
- The fact that you are dying of cancer and it’ll be your funeral next week
- How nice your hair looks
- If you have to, feel free to thank everyone for coming, but don’t spend too much time on it.
Since the deceased person is why everyone is gathered together, make sure they know how important they are. Tell stories about their past and express how you will miss them.
Keep the speech concise and to the point.
Make sure you keep your speech concise and to the point. Funerals can last a long time, and people may or may not be interested in every detail. The funeral service itself will serve as an outline for your speech, and you can talk about certain things afterward if necessary (it’s okay to continue after the burial).
Tell stories about their life.
Tell stories about your loved one’s life; remember their good qualities. The funeral is not the time to talk about the bad ones, or you could hurt feelings. You want to show that last respect but also celebrate their life (no matter how short).
You might want to take some time at the end of your speech to talk about what kind of person your loved one was. What did they enjoy? How did they make friends? You can also get personal; mention how you will personally miss them.
Thank the speakers before you
You will want to thank the speakers before you for helping out in your time of need. Don’t forget to thank the audience for being there and showing their support. If you want to pray or say a few words to the Lord, this would be an appropriate time.
It’s okay to cry
It’s okay to cry at your loved one’s funeral; it shows how much they meant to you and that you will miss them dearly. However, remember that not everyone there is as close to your loved one as you are and might find it awkward if you cry too much. You should be clear and concise in your speech. You can talk about significant accomplishments or even the strange things that the deceased used to do when they were alive.
Try not to get angry unless it is vital since this will detract from their memory. Also, make sure to thank everyone for coming and give a final goodbye to your loved one. It’ll be tough for you, but try not to let it get the best of you. Take this time to celebrate their life and what they meant to your family.
How do you start a funeral speech?
Being tasked with giving a funeral speech or eulogy usually is one of the hardest things for a person to do. The difference between making an impact with your speech and conversing with people afterward can be as small as including anecdotes about the deceased, so long as they are not offensive or exaggerated.
Keep the audience in mind.
Starting the speech can be very challenging, but the tips below help you know how to start your speech. Remember to keep your audience in mind when you are writing your speech. It should be concise, heartfelt, and not too long.
Don’t be too emotional.
When giving a eulogy or funeral speech, try not to become too emotional when talking about the deceased person. Your emotions are important, but it is their life which you are commemorating rather than their death. For example, if you are writing a speech for your dad’s funeral, you can talk about how much he enjoyed fishing or how he always enjoyed cooking. You want to highlight the best parts of their lives rather than focus on losing their battle with cancer.
Mention the deceased person directly
When starting, it is essential to mention the deceased person directly. For example, you might say, “I want to thank you all for coming today. My daughter, Amelia, was a great girl and loved by many.” Remember that when giving your eulogy or funeral speech, it is essential to begin the speech by stating what you want to talk about before it gets too emotional or personal.
If you are having trouble thinking about starting your speech, begin with where you were when you heard the news. This can be an emotional time for most people and will help ease into your eulogy or funeral speech. You can then talk about memories that you had of the deceased person in their life.
Don’t forget to give thanks.
When giving a eulogy or funeral speech, you will want to end with a thank you. Always thank your family for allowing themselves to be open and vulnerable so that the audience can understand the depth of your loss. Thank everyone who helped put together the service or memorial. You may also want to offer an anecdote about the deceased, something humorous so that they are remembered as more than just a sickly person who passed away. It is vital to have an ending when you give your eulogy or funeral speech to not drag on too long.
You want people to walk away from your eulogy knowing something about the person who has passed away, whether their passions in life or their sense of humor.
How do you say goodbye at a funeral?
If you are speaking at a funeral, you will need to know how to say goodbye. There are many different situations where the deceased person might have died, so there are no set guidelines for saying goodbye. Instead, you should focus on what is best for your loved one’s family and friends.
When giving a eulogy or funeral speech, you want to make sure that everyone is included. This means you will need to talk about the deceased person’s job, family, neighborhood, and friends. Emphasize their role in your life because overcoming the death of a loved one takes time. You never know when someone will be gone forever.
Say goodbye with understanding and compassion.
When it comes to saying goodbye at a funeral, you need to do it with compassion and understanding. Remember that everyone has their way of grieving, and they will all want closure for their loss differently. This means that your speech should begin by addressing the entire audience as a whole before going on to talk about what was unique about this person who has died.
The final thing to know about saying goodbye at a funeral is that you will need to conclude. This can be as simple as thanking everyone for being there or sharing an exciting memory from when you knew this person. You want your funeral speech or eulogy to leave a lasting impression on the audience so that they can remember the person as more than just a body.
Ask for help when you need it.
When you are giving your funeral speech or eulogy, it is vital to ask for help if you need it. You want to make sure that everyone who comes will leave with something memorable, and this will only happen if you practice many times before the actual event. It is not uncommon to have multiple eulogies at a funeral because people know the deceased person differently.
Funeral speeches and Eulogies can be overwhelming, but with practice, you will find that it is not as difficult as you initially thought. As long as you focus on your topic and keep your audience in mind, you will be able to deliver a moving and heartfelt speech.
Examples of funeral speeches
There are several different types of funerals. Each type will call for a unique kind of funeral speech. Funeral speeches can be given by clergy, family members or friends, and co-workers. Even businesses that were frequented by the deceased might have someone give a eulogy at a memorial service. The following list contains examples from these categories:
A funeral is a type of memorial service for the deceased. It will usually be held in a house of worship or funeral home before burial or cremation. The clergy person giving the eulogy might begin by stating that they have known the deceased since their childhood, describing how they grew up and what they did with their life. They might say that the deceased person served their community and worked hard in their occupation.
A memorial service for the deceased is a type of funeral, but it does not require burial or cremation. Anyone can speak during this type of service, including family members, close friends, co-workers, and clergy people who knew the person who died.
A co-worker or friend of the deceased might say that they enjoyed seeing the person regularly and shared many memories. They might also say how much the deceased person will be missed at work and by their friends.
An older family member or close friend of the deceased might talk about their relationship with the person who has died. They might say how they have known them for a long time and what they liked most about the person who has died.
A family member or close friend of the deceased might say that this person influenced them in their life. However, no matter how important the person who has died was to us, nothing can ever compare to how much we will miss them.
A clergy person might say that we should keep the deceased in our hearts forever and remember their positive attributes. They are now angels up in heaven looking down upon us.
After a eulogy, you want to thank everyone who attended the funeral or memorial service for being there, sharing their memories of the deceased, and honoring them with their presence. You might also wish them a safe journey home or say that their family will need them more than ever. You can be the last speaker to share a goodbye before everyone gets up to go.
An essential part of any funeral service is allowing grieving to mourn privately, so make sure you say goodbye at the end of your speech rather than at the beginning. A funeral is a sacred event, and you should always stand up when speaking. You can say that “It is with great shock and sadness that we gather here today” to show how much everyone will miss the deceased.
When practicing your speech, it is essential to make sure every sentence sounds smooth and flows well together or is challenging to speak. It is common for funeral speeches to be sad and emotional, so you mustn’t allow your emotions to overcome you during the speech. You want to make sure every sentence in your speech sounds smooth and flows well together, or it will sound choppy. You should try practicing your eulogy out loud and record yourself so you can assess the flow and tone of your speech.
You want to acknowledge people’s emotions and show that you are sensitive to their pain.
- Some funeral speeches contain prayers or poems, but this is unnecessary since it may not be appropriate for everyone attending the funeral. You will want to make sure you check with the family or remember to get permission before reading any poem.
- You want to thank the deceased family for sharing their loved ones with you and letting us share in our memories, sorrows, laughter, and tears over the years. It’s not only part of who they were but also a gift that we’ll always treasure.
- We’ll miss her smile, her faith, and the way she loved all of us throughout life. We’ll never forget the joy she brought to our family gatherings.
- She loved being around people and was a great listener. She knew something about everything but loved to share stories from when she was young more than anything else.
- Her positive attitude, sense of humor, and unfailing optimism were an inspiration to us all. She will be greatly missed.
You want to try and speak from personal experience, but if this is not possible because you didn’t know the person who died, then say that the legacy of their life will live on through everyone they’ve touched.
The most important thing to remember when creating a speech for a funeral is that you want to keep it respectful and tasteful. This means not saying anything negative or controversial about the deceased, reflecting poorly on their family. The last thing you want to do is say something inappropriate or offensive during your eulogy.
When writing your speech, you must ensure that you do not use offensive language or choose words that might offend the family. The last thing you want is for your eulogy to make things worse for the family that is already grieving. While it’s essential to consider how easily it could be misinterpreted, try and take a straightforward approach and get your point across quickly or lose your audience’s attention.
Be sure to avoid saying negative things about the deceased, even if they have been well known for it in life, as this can upset their family and cause a disturbance in your eulogy. It’s a good idea to rehearse your speech in front of someone you trust, such as a friend or family member, to get their opinion on how well the speech flows and if they think you’re saying everything that needs to be said.
When practicing your speech, it is essential to make sure every sentence sounds smooth and flows well together or is challenging to speak. Always remember to keep it clean and try not to offend anyone in the process of building a speech for a funeral.
The most important thing to remember when creating a speech for a funeral is that you want to keep it respectful and tasteful. This means not saying anything negative or controversial about the deceased, reflecting poorly on their family.